3 Things Every Man Desires From His Wife

Every married couple desires to have a great marriage.
What every man desires from his wife

The question is not one of intention, but one of direction.

How do you get there?

In my previous post, 4 Things Every Woman Needs to Hear From Her Husband, we explored how men can help create a great marriage by serving their wives with specific words and actions.

In this post, we will explore how women can help create a great marriage through 3 things her husband desires.

1) Affirmation. It can be a dog eat dog world out there. As men, we can get discouraged at times. We can feel a tremendous amount of pressure to provide for our family. Not from our wives, but from ourselves. It’s our job and we want to do it well.

In addition, we have dreams. Dreams to do something great with our life. Maybe it’s starting a business or going for a promotion. A man’s wife can be her husband’s biggest source of encouragement.

Women, you have no idea the power you hold. Words like, “I believe in you” or “ You’ve got this one!” hold huge value and can go a long way. Jacque, my wife, has been my biggest cheerleader along the way with certain dreams I’ve had. Knowing my wife is for me has been one of my greatest joys in marriage.

2) Respect. All men have a desire to be respected. It starts early in life when you see boys clamoring to be the best on a sports team or maybe a young boy’s dream to be a superhero. These are all rooted in a desire to be respected. It’s the way we’re wired.

We like to “fix things” and come in and save the day. All men love to be looked up to for their accomplishments. Women can show respect for their husband with words like, “You’re awesome!” or “I appreciate you for the way you work so hard”.

Women, as a bonus, most men love to be bragged on in public. Sincerely use those kind of words and watch your husband light up. Men will repeat those words over again in our head. I know I do and love it when Jacque does it. It makes us feel like a million bucks and we love you for it.

3) Intimacy. God has designed men and women with a desire for intimacy. Unfortunately, the media has picked up on that and bombarded men non stop with advertisements. Why? They know sex sells. Pornography is one of the biggest money making industries in the world. And they are targeting your husband.

A great marriage has a man that says no to that and yes to you. One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is intimacy. The book of Genesis in the Bible says, “And for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” Celebrate this God given gift often. It was designed to make a marriage stronger.

These aren’t the only 3 things a man desires from his wife, but they certainly help create a great marriage.

Practice them often and watch your husband begin to look for ways to meet your needs. When each spouse is looking for ways to serve one another, it’s amazing how quickly marriage can become a joy.

The good news is a great marriage keeps on giving.  One of the best gifts we can give children is the example of a great marriage.

Keep investing. The effort is worth it.

What is something else that makes for a great marriage?

* This is the second in a three part series on relationships. Check back on Thursday for part 3.

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4 Things Every Woman Needs to Hear From Her Husband

I love to see great marriages.

What makes a happy marriage

I especially like to see couples that have been married a number of years still act like they are newlyweds.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Great marriages don’t happen with one great date or one incredible Valentine’s Day.

In fact, great marriages, like anything great, take time.  Greatness is a matter of making one small investment at a time.  Those investments over time, equal big results.

I’m not a marriage expert, but after being married for 20 years, I’ve found 4 phrases that have helped lead to a great marriage.  

1) How can I help?  Guys, let’s admit it.  If it wasn’t for our wives, we’d be goners.  I think many times we take them for granted.  I know I used to at times.

We were a handful of years into our marriage and Jacque had to tell me in tears she felt like she was doing all the work around the house herself.  I finally got a clue.

Just because our wives can do everything doesn’t mean they should do everything.

We all are wired with a  “love language”.  Many women’s love language is acts of service.  In fact, I’ve heard women say the sexiest thing their husband can do is the dishes.  So men, get your sexy on.

Not sure how to serve your wife?  Ask the question, “How can I help?”  I promise, it will pay off in the long run.

2) You look beautiful.  Every woman deserves to hear those words.  Unfortunately, women are bombarded with media messages all day long that cause them to play the comparison game.  Ultimately, many end up asking the question, “Do I measure up?”   Let your wife know she is the most beautiful woman in the world.  On the outside and on the inside.  Tell them often.  I’ve never heard of a woman that doesn’t enjoy being treated like a princess.

3) Thank you.  Schedules can get crazy sometimes in marriage, especially with kids involved.  Sometimes it can feel like two ships passing in the wind.  We can get so busy about work, kids homework, sports practices and other things that we forget to slow down and say thank you to our spouse.

Show appreciation for the everyday things.  Did she do your laundry?  Go grocery shopping after a long day?  Cook a great meal?  Say thanks.  Even better, pick up a thank you card and leave it on her pillow.  It will make you look like Prince Charming and make her feel like a million bucks.

4) I love you.  I know what you may be thinking…”She already knows I love her.  I told her last Valentines Day.”  I’m being facetious, of course, but women need to be reassured of our love.  They need to hear it often.

If you really want to take things to the next level, get creative in how you say it.  Stick a note in her wallet or on her rearview mirror.  Pick up a card or send a text or email with the simple words every woman loves to hear, “I love you.”

These are not the only 4 things our wives need to hear from us, but they certainly help lead to making a great marriage.

So put these 4 phrases to work.  Use them often.

Because great marriages are made by one small investment at a time.

Would you agree?  What do you feel is the most important thing wives need to hear from their husbands?

*  This is the first of a 3 part series on relationships. Here’s the link to the next post, “3 Things Every Man Desires From His Wife.” Please join the conversation by leaving a comment.

You may also enjoy reading 10 Things I’ve Learned From 20 Years of Marriage.

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10 Things I’ve Learned From 20 Years of Marriage

10 Things About MarriageI love learning from other people.

My wife, Jacque and I celebrated 20 years of marriage this year and I thought I would share a few things we’ve learned over the last two decades from others.

These things have contributed to us not just existing in a relationship, but loving being with each other.

No matter where you are at in your journey, maybe these principles will inspire and help you like they have us.

3 Tips to Create More Excitement in Your Marriage

create excitement in marriageWe’ve all seen it far too often.  Couples sitting across the table from each other in a restaurant, that might as well be a thousand miles apart.

30 minutes have gone by and not a word is spoken.

Maybe they are just having a bad night.  Or maybe they enjoy sitting in silence.

More often than not, I think it’s a classic case of a boring marriage.

No one ever begins a marriage with the goal of it being boring.  Yet sadly, many end up in that very spot.

How do you prevent a boring marriage or turn a marriage around that has lost it’s spark?

My wife, Jacque and I have been married for over 20 years and I can honestly say we have as much excitement in our marriage, if not more than we did when we first got married.

 Here are a few ways we keep things exciting.

1)  Have a regular date night.  We have had this practice for over 20 years.  Hands down, this regular habit has paid more dividends into our marriage than any other thing.  Even in the early days as newlyweds, when we had to take a calculator to the store just so we could figure out if we could afford the peanut butter AND the jelly, we kept a regular date night.  It was just a priority for us that we looked at as an investment.

We also have two children, Jordyn and Ryan.  We have always prioritized our relationship with each other over our relationship with our kids because we know one of the best gifts we can pass on to our children is a healthy and vibrant marriage.  It has the legacy potential to carry on for generations to come.

2)  Be intentional about fun.   I plan most of our dates.  I think it’s important for men to not only plan and lead well at work, but also plan and lead well at home.  I want to put as much effort, if not more into planning fun elements into our marriage as I do into planning projects at work.

Some of the fun things we have done are: competition date nights (where we pick one or more activities to compete against each other in), picnics for two at a romantic location and something as silly as a tickle fight.  (why should kids have all the fun?)

3)  Plan elements of surprise.  One of the ways to combat boredom in marriage is to keep things fresh.  Recently, I decided I was going to give Jacque some surprise gifts.  Instead of just handing over the gifts, I decided to have a little fun with it.  I got four pieces of copy paper and wrote, “Door #1, Door #2, Door #3 and Door #4” on them.  I then proceeded to tape one of those pieces of paper to four of our closet doors in our house.  Behind each door I placed one of the gifts.  Some of the gifts were as simple as a coupon for a back rub.  (This idea doesn’t have to cost you a ton of money.)  I had Jacque pick one door per day of her choice for four days, each time revealing what was behind the door.  It was a lot of fun for her and a lot of fun for me to surprise her.

My hope is that some of this content inspires you to create more excitement in your marriage or gives you some ideas for a future relationship if you are not yet married.

Keep leading well.  Especially in your marriage.

What are some ideas that have added excitement to your marriage?

(Feature image from Clipart.com)