4 Things Every Woman Needs to Hear From Her Husband

I love to see great marriages.

What makes a happy marriage

I especially like to see couples that have been married a number of years still act like they are newlyweds.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Great marriages don’t happen with one great date or one incredible Valentine’s Day.

In fact, great marriages, like anything great, take time.  Greatness is a matter of making one small investment at a time.  Those investments over time, equal big results.

I’m not a marriage expert, but after being married for 20 years, I’ve found 4 phrases that have helped lead to a great marriage.  

1) How can I help?  Guys, let’s admit it.  If it wasn’t for our wives, we’d be goners.  I think many times we take them for granted.  I know I used to at times.

We were a handful of years into our marriage and Jacque had to tell me in tears she felt like she was doing all the work around the house herself.  I finally got a clue.

Just because our wives can do everything doesn’t mean they should do everything.

We all are wired with a  “love language”.  Many women’s love language is acts of service.  In fact, I’ve heard women say the sexiest thing their husband can do is the dishes.  So men, get your sexy on.

Not sure how to serve your wife?  Ask the question, “How can I help?”  I promise, it will pay off in the long run.

2) You look beautiful.  Every woman deserves to hear those words.  Unfortunately, women are bombarded with media messages all day long that cause them to play the comparison game.  Ultimately, many end up asking the question, “Do I measure up?”   Let your wife know she is the most beautiful woman in the world.  On the outside and on the inside.  Tell them often.  I’ve never heard of a woman that doesn’t enjoy being treated like a princess.

3) Thank you.  Schedules can get crazy sometimes in marriage, especially with kids involved.  Sometimes it can feel like two ships passing in the wind.  We can get so busy about work, kids homework, sports practices and other things that we forget to slow down and say thank you to our spouse.

Show appreciation for the everyday things.  Did she do your laundry?  Go grocery shopping after a long day?  Cook a great meal?  Say thanks.  Even better, pick up a thank you card and leave it on her pillow.  It will make you look like Prince Charming and make her feel like a million bucks.

4) I love you.  I know what you may be thinking…”She already knows I love her.  I told her last Valentines Day.”  I’m being facetious, of course, but women need to be reassured of our love.  They need to hear it often.

If you really want to take things to the next level, get creative in how you say it.  Stick a note in her wallet or on her rearview mirror.  Pick up a card or send a text or email with the simple words every woman loves to hear, “I love you.”

These are not the only 4 things our wives need to hear from us, but they certainly help lead to making a great marriage.

So put these 4 phrases to work.  Use them often.

Because great marriages are made by one small investment at a time.

Would you agree?  What do you feel is the most important thing wives need to hear from their husbands?

*  This is the first of a 3 part series on relationships. Here’s the link to the next post, “3 Things Every Man Desires From His Wife.” Please join the conversation by leaving a comment.

You may also enjoy reading 10 Things I’ve Learned From 20 Years of Marriage.

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11 thoughts on “4 Things Every Woman Needs to Hear From Her Husband

  1. Great advice. I would have to say say that apologizing when you do something wrong would be up there. It’s a great model of character and definitely humbling.

    • Lisset- Another great piece of advice. I think apologies go a long way. Easier said then done, of course, but they definitely can make for a better marriage when a couple can forgive and move on. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. I have learned that it is extremely important for my wife to know that I am actually listening to her and validate what she is saying when she shares. She is not looking for me to fix her problems just empathize with her and know that I care. Sometimes I don’t have to say anything, just repeat back what she said to me in a way that shows I really understand. Too often in the past I tried to go to solving mode and “help” her. Man, did it backfire. Now I know to wait until she asks me for advice before I offer. Becoming one doesn’t happen after “I Do”. I have to keep doing it for years and years. It just keeps getting better. Praise the Lord. Blessings to you and on your blog.

  3. Ben- GREAT advice. I totally agree. Too many times, I’ve tried to be the fix it man and Jacque just wanted me to listen. Keep on leading your family well, Ben!

  4. Hello Doug –

    All of your admonitions to continue telling your spouse that you love her often (essentially continuing to woo her), and helping with home duties certainly is at the top of the list for a good marriage.

    I would add a couple more; First, always maintain respect for your wife — no calling her “my old lady”, “my ball and chain” etc., or demean her in any way. If you truly love your wife, how can you show disrespect for her — you should always hold her in high esteem, especially when you’re out with “the guys” and she’s not around.

    Second, always remember that each individual has their on right to his/her opinion and they will not always be the same. It’s essential that when discussing differences, it’s important to realize that it’s OK to agree to disagree. Never tell her she’s a “dummy” because her opinion doesn’t match yours — remember, she chose to marry you and you would likely think she was pretty smart then.

    I know this can work because my dear wife and I will have been married 61 years January 9, 2014. We still hold hands an tell each other that we love one another daily.

    My best to you for your teachings.

    Jim Bryant.

    • Jim- Thank you for your words of wisdom. You hit the nail on the head with your comments. I love to learn from others like yourself who can speak from experience. Congratulations on 61 years of marriage! That is something to celebrate!