30 minutes have gone by and not a word is spoken.
Maybe they are just having a bad night. Or maybe they enjoy sitting in silence.
More often than not, I think it’s a classic case of a boring marriage.
No one ever begins a marriage with the goal of it being boring. Yet sadly, many end up in that very spot.
How do you prevent a boring marriage or turn a marriage around that has lost it’s spark?
My wife, Jacque and I have been married for over 20 years and I can honestly say we have as much excitement in our marriage, if not more than we did when we first got married.
Here are a few ways we keep things exciting.
1) Have a regular date night. We have had this practice for over 20 years. Hands down, this regular habit has paid more dividends into our marriage than any other thing. Even in the early days as newlyweds, when we had to take a calculator to the store just so we could figure out if we could afford the peanut butter AND the jelly, we kept a regular date night. It was just a priority for us that we looked at as an investment.
We also have two children, Jordyn and Ryan. We have always prioritized our relationship with each other over our relationship with our kids because we know one of the best gifts we can pass on to our children is a healthy and vibrant marriage. It has the legacy potential to carry on for generations to come.
2) Be intentional about fun. I plan most of our dates. I think it’s important for men to not only plan and lead well at work, but also plan and lead well at home. I want to put as much effort, if not more into planning fun elements into our marriage as I do into planning projects at work.
Some of the fun things we have done are: competition date nights (where we pick one or more activities to compete against each other in), picnics for two at a romantic location and something as silly as a tickle fight. (why should kids have all the fun?)
3) Plan elements of surprise. One of the ways to combat boredom in marriage is to keep things fresh. Recently, I decided I was going to give Jacque some surprise gifts. Instead of just handing over the gifts, I decided to have a little fun with it. I got four pieces of copy paper and wrote, “Door #1, Door #2, Door #3 and Door #4” on them. I then proceeded to tape one of those pieces of paper to four of our closet doors in our house. Behind each door I placed one of the gifts. Some of the gifts were as simple as a coupon for a back rub. (This idea doesn’t have to cost you a ton of money.) I had Jacque pick one door per day of her choice for four days, each time revealing what was behind the door. It was a lot of fun for her and a lot of fun for me to surprise her.
My hope is that some of this content inspires you to create more excitement in your marriage or gives you some ideas for a future relationship if you are not yet married.
Keep leading well. Especially in your marriage.
What are some ideas that have added excitement to your marriage?
(Feature image from Clipart.com)